I need my life to be able to write about it. My life needs time – as does my writing. Sometimes there is a conflict of interests in my heart: „doing life“ or writing about it. Both aspects are important to me even when they sometimes are mutually exclusive. Both fight for my attention. They belong to me like compulsary test and freestyle belong to a figure skater´s competition.
The doing has so much routine in it – everybody could do it as well as me. It ist never done, the repetition is always predictable, often tedious and rather tiring – compulsary test.
The writing seems to be more fulfilling to me, more tailored to my interests, talents and abilities. It seems to be more the activity where I can be (and become) myself the most. It´s stimulating – freestyle.
I tend to value the writing higher, but most of the time I still give priority to doing – out of the need to keep life going. In doing my stuff I enable myself to write about it. I am grateful that God takes care of keeping me content while doing life and keeping me grounded while writing.