Mothers of teenagers should be able to adapt: On the one hand you are supposed to be merciful, encouraging, forgiving, listening, understanding and all those things in a different way with each individual kid. As a result it may happen that your kid reacts grateful and you both experience a unique closeness. On the other hand the juveniles might be not especially grateful for the things you do for the sake of their character building – your work, the limits you set, the pushing, remembering and regulating. And they tell you so in very blunt and honest words. Which reaction will pop up is often surprising.
So you need to be empathic and sensitive and in the very next moment ignorant and thick-skinned because they don´t really mean what they say. This process of change is required daily, has to be made spontaneously, and regardless of one´s own emotional state. I have been training this for years now, I am not sure if I am any better than when I started. I only know that sometimes I am still ill-prepared for the surprise.